Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
