Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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