I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she looked like the before picture.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Randomize
