the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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