Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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