At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize