Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
