hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
