please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
so much tequila, so little girl.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
