Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
