do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
