On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize