he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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