He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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