I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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