i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
