I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize