If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
