You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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