What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
