:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I touched a dick in church today
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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