Nicole vs. Life
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
