Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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