dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
