Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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