1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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