I wish I only lived at night.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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