Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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