After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My vagina just recognized that song.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
