What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
