They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize