I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
