I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
