well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fuck appropriateness.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
