You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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