I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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