The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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