He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
