Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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