tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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