You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
