the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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