I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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