Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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