im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
