To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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