i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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