end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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