Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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