hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
