Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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