i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
