god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
