dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
