He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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