if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
