this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
