How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
