Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it

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(305): View more from Florida

Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK

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(+49): View more from Germany

Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????

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