dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
