so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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